Nobody wants to read a 100-page manual their first day on the job. So why do we keep pretending they will?
Companies that spend millions on "digital transformation" are still handing new hires the same crusty SharePoint links from 2018. (Spoiler alert: Nobody's reading them.)
It’s time to stop the madness and start building onboarding that doesn't make new hires question their life choices.
Most onboarding resources suck
And yours are probably no exception.
Legal. Compliance. Accounting. Everyone gets their box ticked except the person who actually needs help.
Here's the dumpster fire most new hires walk into:
- Chaos dressed up as "flexibility" - Back-to-back meetings on day one without context, setup, or even knowing why they're there.
- Information overload without context - Being bombarded with 10 Google sheets, 10 Excel sheets, 15 applications, and zero explanation of what actually matters.
- Managers too busy to manage - Rushed training sessions, managers who seem annoyed by questions, and that special "figure it out yourself" energy.
- Hazing disguised as onboarding - Getting 5 deadlines in week three when you barely even understand the role.
- No clear ownership - Managers who don't even know what tasks the trainer has assigned. Classic case of everyone assuming someone else is handling it.
People literally question their own sanity rather than admit their company's onboarding is garbage. That's how normalized the dysfunction has become.
Dusty docs are why people quit
Bad onboarding isn't just annoying. It's expensive.
Early turnover can amount to 25–45% of your new hire's payroll in overtime, lost productivity, and disengagement. That's before you even count the cost of posting "We're hiring!" for the same role. Again.
The damage doesn’t stop there:
- 83% of employees feel overwhelmed by the information needed to do their jobs.
- The average employee applies only 10 to 15% of what they learned in training to their actual work.
- Managers burn out 42% faster when they’re cleaning up onboarding disasters instead of leading their teams.
- Almost half of employees who had a bad onboarding experience said they wanted to leave within six months.
You can’t build a passionate workforce on one-way info dumps. Employees need personalized onboarding experiences that meet them where they are.
The future of onboarding is grab and go (not sink or swim)
Your new hires can order sushi at 2am with three taps. But accessing their benefits info? Better clear the afternoon.
The shift to on-demand isn't just about convenience—it's about speed.
Because here's the thing: Your new hires grew up with instant everything. They'll find another job faster than they'll dig through your shared drive. And in a world where AI fluency is quickly becoming table stakes, slow onboarding isn't just annoying—it's a competitive disadvantage.
Want new hires producing faster? Do these 3 things
The numbers say it all. Our research found that more than 1 in 3 employers still have a hard time finding candidates who stay. Meanwhile, companies with actual onboarding (not just "here's your laptop, good luck") boost retention by up to 82%.
The best part? Instead of spending hours downloading, uploading and poring through pdfs, your new hire can actually get to work.
Here’s how to make it happen.
1. Give them the essentials, not the encyclopedia
What onboarding resources do you actually need for distributed teams? Start by taking things off the list, rather than piling more on.
Golden ratio: 20% policy essentials, 80% practical guidance.
Policies and guidelines
- Day one essentials
- Team structure and who's who
- Access guide covering virtual and in-office setups
- Communication channels and tools
Practical resources
- Common FAQs
- Project templates and examples
- Success stories and best practices from top performers
- Cultural insights and team traditions
- Onboarding activities that actually show what you’re about
Just-in-time knowledge beats information overload every time. Save the org chart, onboarding schedule, and boring technical setup stuff for preboarding.
For the first 30 days, focus on delivering the right onboarding information at the right time. Everything else lives in one central spot where new hires can dig in whenever they're ready (no more "where was that doc again?" Slack messages).
2. Customize resources for different roles
Your engineering team needs access to GitHub, code repositories, and technical documentation. Your sales team? They're looking for CRM access, pitch decks, and customer personas.
Yet most companies force everyone through the same generic onboarding maze.
Here's what role-specific onboarding looks like in practice:
For technical roles:
- Day 1: Dev environment setup and codebase tour
- Week 1: Ship a small bug fix or feature
- Week 2: Join code reviews and architecture discussions
For customer-facing roles:
- Day 1: Product demo training and customer success stories
- Week 1: Shadow customer calls and practice pitches
- Week 2: Handle first customer interaction with backup
For operations roles:
- Day 1: Process flowcharts and system access
- Week 1: Complete first workflow with supervision
- Week 2: Identify one process improvement opportunity
The magic happens when you build these paths into your onboarding platform, then back them up in your one-on-one conversations and 90-day reviews.
No more "one-size-fits-none" or managers scrambling to create custom plans from scratch. Just clear, role-specific roadmaps that get people productive and accountable faster.
3. Write policies people will actually read
Nobody gets excited about reading the employee handbook. But you can't just ignore it and hope for the best. (We see you, startup founders.)
Here's a wild idea: Write policies like they're meant to be understood by actual humans.
Break it down into digestible chunks
Instead of a 50-page PDF on "Time Off Policies," try:
- Quick reference card: "Taking time off in 5 steps"
- Decision tree: "Which type of leave should I use?"
- FAQ: "Can I roll over unused PTO?" (Spoiler: everyone asks this)
Use real examples and scenarios
- Policy: "Employees must submit expense reports within 30 days of incurred expenses."
- Example: "Just got back from that client dinner? Here's how Sarah from Sales handles her expense reports."
Add visuals and interactive elements
- Create flowcharts for complex processes
- Use screenshots for system walkthroughs
- Add video messages from team leads explaining the "why" behind policies
Write like a human, not a lawyer
Your harassment policy needs to be legally sound, but your vacation request process? That can be explained in plain English. Research shows people only read about 20% of text on a page anyway—make those words count.
The goal isn't to make policies "fun" (let's be realistic). It's to make them findable, understandable, and actionable.
Because a policy nobody understands is a policy nobody follows.
Onboarding at the speed of need (not at the speed of HR)
When new hires describe onboarding as “drinking from the firehose,” that's not a badge of honor—it's a cry for help.
New team members don't want to wait for scheduled training sessions or chase down managers for answers. They want the info they need, ready when they are.
We built Breezy Onboard to help small-and-scrappy hiring teams deliver that essential onboarding "dose" without the manual hassle:
- Document upload, storage, and e-signature with no paperwork chase
- Customizable onboarding routes for training that doesn't waste everyone's time
- Set-it-and-forget-it task automation so new hires can get to work sooner
- Easy at-a-glance progress tracking
Because when you're trying to get a new hire up to speed, every minute counts. And every minute wasted on busywork is a minute not spent on the stuff that moves the needle.
No AI buzzwords. No 'synergy.' Just practical hiring advice that works in the real world. (Plus HR puns so bad they're good.) ➡️ Hit subscribe if you're into that.
Ready to stop torturing new hires? Breezy Onboard gives you everything you need to build onboarding that doesn't suck. Get full-featured access free for 14 days.
